20. ...and a basement

T. R. took us past everyone and to a little door on the side. He went down first, then Burbank. I paused at the top of the narrow stairway and looked down into the darkness. I could feel the coldness wafting up. I turned back to Lenore who said, "Don't," but Burbank was already down there, and I’m too good a friend to abandon him. I told her to wait up here.

There was a dark hallway down here, next to the ladies' and gents' toilets. I still couldn't figure out where these celebrity friends were.

T. R. unlocked a door and opened it to reveal a bright little basement office with empty concrete walls and lots of boxes and papers on a desk. There weren't any celebrities.

Burbank followed him into the room. I stood in the doorway, keeping the door propped open.

T. R. pulled out a briefcase and unlocked it. Burbank leaned his head closer. I held my breath. The briefcase sprang open to reveal over a hundred letters and postcards. T. R. picked up the top one. "Look," he said, pointing to a photograph. "That me and Tony Blair. You like it?"

Burbank nodded.

T. R. pulled out a letter. "'Dear T. R.' That me. 'Thank you for your support...' You know who this from? Look." He pointed to the signature. I couldn't see it from the doorway. For some reason, I thought if T. R. could close the door, he’d kill us both. I sure am silly sometimes.

He read aloud, "Ronald Reagan." He went on this way for twenty minutes, each letter or photo more impressive than the last.

I said we needed to get back to the hotel. T. R. decided he'd shown enough of his treasure. "Okay," he said. "We go upstairs and take group photo!" He walked to the door and patted me on the back. "Photo with my new celebrity friends!"

We followed T. R. back up the eerie stairs and into the warm, candlelit restaurant where T. R. made one of his waiters take a photo of us all together. I was sweating a lot by this point. T. R. shook each of our hands and said good-bye.

In the parking lot, Burbank asked why I'd made a funny face for the camera. I told him that I wanted to look the least like myself in case this bloke ever tries to hunt me down. I know. I worry too much.