62. Going Dutch

Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?



At the Belgian event, I thought it would be quite hip of me to read a chapter of my book not in English but in the audience’s own language—Dutch. The book store kindly lent me a copy of the Dutch/Flemish translation. After a brief lesson in pronunciation from Lenore, I had it sussed.

“Hello,” I said in English. “Eek ben uw scrijiver!” There was some hesitant applauding and I saw Lenore slide down in her chair. From there I switched over to English until the reading.

After the first paragraph, I glanced up from my novel and saw that everyone was looking around at each other, not snickering exactly, but puzzlement was clear. I paused to make a decision. I could

A. Plow ahead and confuse everyone
B. Save my face and switch over to English
C. Turn it into a game.

“You’re going to help me,” I told them like they didn’t have a choice. I sounded out a word a few times until someone figured out what I was trying to say. I repeated it back to him in his pronunciation, or what I thought was his pronunciation. Everyone giggled.

Screw the story, I thought. This was going to be fun.